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Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers – Ponderings

Joe Hauckes — Mon, 21 May 2012 10:16:21 +0000

Monday has always been a little bit of a let down, what with it being the beginning of the work week and all.

So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers…

Ponderings

- “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?

- If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and drycleaners depressed?

- Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4′s”?

- Why is it that if someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

- If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

- If people from Poland are called “Poles,” why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes?”

- Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

- If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

- Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there.

- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Hope that put a smile on your face and brightened the start of the work week just a bit.

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers – 27 Signs You’ve had too much of the 21st Century

Joe Hauckes — Mon, 14 May 2012 10:24:50 +0000

Monday has always been a little bit of a let down, what with it being the beginning of the work week and all.

So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers…

Signs You’ve had too much of the 21st Century

1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.

4. You e-mail your colleague at the desk next to you to ask if they’re ready to go to lunch.

5. You chat on-line regularly with a stranger from the U.S., but you haven’t spoken to your next-door-neighbor yet this year.

6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have an e-mail address.

7. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.

8. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail rather than in person.

9. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

10. When you make phone calls from home you accidentally dial “9″ to get an outside line.

11. You now think of three espressos as “getting wasted.”

12. You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, “What’s for dinner?”

13. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

14. You didn’t give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page.

15. Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your College roommate used to play.

16. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.

17. You checked your blow-dryer to see if it was Y2K compliant.

18. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

19. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

20. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.

21. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.

22. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.

23. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

24. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

25. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.

26. You’re reading this.

27. Even worse; you’re going to forward it to someone else.

Hope that put a smile on your face and brightened the start of the work week just a bit.

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers – Work Equations

Joe Hauckes — Mon, 07 May 2012 09:58:20 +0000

Monday has always been a little bit of a let down, what with it being the beginning of the work week and all.

So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers…

Work Equations

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit

Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production

Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion

Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime

Hope that put a smile on your face and brightened the start of the work week just a bit.

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers – Lego Barrel Organ Plays Star Wars [Video]

Joe Hauckes — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:46:58 +0000

Monday has always been a little bit of a let down, what with it being the beginning of the work week and all.

So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers…

Star Wars Theme on a Barrel Organ

If you’re here you are probably at least a little geeky. So, I thought this would be a vid that might touch on your Star Warsien side a little. Made out of 20,000 Lego bricks, using Lego Star Wars Characters to tap the hammers, this thing is just too cool.

Shame it is only in Germany and we can’t play it here in the U.S.

Hope that put a smile on your face and brightened the start of the work week just a bit.

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers – New Old Sayings

Joe Hauckes — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 10:34:20 +0000

Monday has always been a little bit of a let down, what with it being the beginning of the work week and all.

So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers…

New Old Sayings

- Anywhere you hang your @ is home.

- The e-mail of the species is deadlier than the mail.

- A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

- You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.

- Great groups from little icons grow.

- Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

- C:\ is the root of all directories.

- Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.

- Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

- The modem is the message.

- Too many clicks spoil the browse.

- The geek shall inherit the earth.

- A chat has nine lives.

- Don’t byte off more than you can view.

- Fax is stranger than fiction.

- What boots up must come down.

- Windows will never cease.

- In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).

- Virtual reality is its own reward.

- Modulation in all things.

- A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

- There’s no place like ( http://www.)home(.com)

- Know what to expect before you connect.

- Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.

- Speed thrills.

- Give a man (or for that matter anyone) a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use The Net and he won’t bother you for weeks.

Hope that put a smile on your face and brightened the start of the work week just a bit.