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Every once in a while I come across some things I think can be useful to you while Working at Home on the Internet. This is probably not one of those unless you use a lot of writing in your Presentations, Articles and Promotions on your Website or Blog. So, just for Fun here are 39 Writing Tips to Help…
Improve Your Writing Skills
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
3. Employ the vernacular.
4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
6. Remember to never split an infinitive.
7. Contractions aren’t necessary.
8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
9. One should never generalize.
10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
12. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
13. Be more or less specific.
14. Understatement is always best.
15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
17. The passive voice is to be avoided.
18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
20. Who needs rhetorical questions?
21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
22. Don’t never use a double negation.
23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
24. Do not put statements in the negative form.
25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
28. A writer must not shift your point of view.
29. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
30. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!
31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.
32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
37. Always pick on the correct idiom.
38. The adverb always follows the verb.
39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They’re old hat; seek viable alternatives.
Jokes Courtesy of ArcaMax
Hope you enjoyed this little break from reality and maybe even gotten something out of it.
[tags]jokes,fun,writing,ArcaMax[/tags]
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4 Comments
Seriously. You took those examples from my posts, didn’t you Joe?
Hey Rick,
I thought they came from my own warped mind,
Or your post, or ArcaMax or many other examples of bad writing I’ve seen recently.
But, if You want Credit, it’s All Yours.
now that gets an “A”.
But also great reminders
GP in Montana
Hey GP,
That’s the main reason I did this, they really are a funny way of looking at common mistakes we all make.
@ Rick,
I just re-read my comment to you and it seems almost an insult about your writing. Nothing could be further from the truth.
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