Would You Delete a Post When You Know You’re Right?

Tat

First, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through that kind of an awkward situation, that really blows. I’d make a joke about how the wealthy say you’re not successful until you’ve been sued, but having been (unsuccessfully) sued on a personal level, it didn’t make me feel better until years later.

To your situation, the first thing I would do would try to think of it from her perspective – not in order to decide whether or not to take my posts down, but to try to understand her mindframe. Is she afraid that your posts will make it harder for her in divorce court? Does she think some of them make her look bad?

I personally wouldn’t take my posts down, whether I was right or not, unless there was no other alternative. Until that time comes, I’d keep them up. I would only want her perspective to understand her motivations. When you understand other people’s motivations, it’s easier to reach an accord, even with unreasonable people.

Then I’d go find other people who have been sued for blog posts. If memory serves, one of those people was Aaron over at SEOBook.com – he’d have good suggestions from you, and perhaps a good lawyer.

Finally, I’d tell my story. My current site is about telling my story and it’s not just cathartic. The support you get is…

It’s better than any amount of money you could ever gain, and worth every penny you could ever lose.

This experience may have its ugly moments, and it’s awful that you’ll have to go through them. Through it, you may find out, as I did, that many more people than you thought support you than you think.

Tat

No problem at all. I guess the reality came through. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.

Tat

Please do. I’ll be following your blog religiously anyway, so a post works.

webduck

*To you too is what I meant to say. Sheesh!

Paul Lamach

YO Joe,

I’d like to think every post I read from you is not just fluff. If you remove post, I will assume what you write is only as long as it doesn’t bother anyone. At that point, your opinions mean nothing. Give me info! I’ll sort out whats right and wrong!

Keep up the good work.

Wendy Piersall :: eMom

Joe, even if the stuff you said was untrue, the only way they could sue you is if they could prove financial harm from the posts you wrote.

I know this because recently two of my business acquaintences had an offline spat, and both were talking about suing. Financial harm was done, but everything that was said was true, so there was no case.

And lucky me, I got caught in the middle. Thankfully I’m still friends with both of them (and I don’t know how I pulled THAT one off, so don’t ask! )

Lara

Hey Joe – I think I might have a slightly different opinion, but it’s likely because I was on the other side of the fence once myself all too recently.

My question is this: Does it benefit YOU in any way to have it remain posted?

All too often I think people are all about the “it’s MY site, MY opinion, blah blah blah” attitude, and they neglect to consider the damage that could be done by being negative. (I understand that YOU weren’t, and it was the comments of others… but follow along with me here.)

I think a lot of times people get so defiant about their “rights” that they forget about kindness. At some point in our “online lives”, everyone makes mistakes. They say things they probably shouldn’t have, or act in ways that could’ve been better handled. Whether they make amends for it or not, the public reaction can be detrimental to their livelihood. Years go by, and they may not be the same person. We make mistakes, and we learn. We modify our behaviors, thoughts, and actions. How can someone “correct” a bad situation that’s over a year old? They really can’t. Not without facing the potential of further humiliation.

A brief synopsis of my situation: I’d asked someone for help with a piece of code they released to the public for free. I was told I’d have to pay for support, and then when I reacted negatively, I received a harassing phone call from this person. Then this person went on their highly-popular website and bashed my company (of course, eliminating ALL the details, like their phone call to me, or the full contents of all email exchanges – posting only a “highlight” that ensured I’d be made a target for). Their “followers” bashed me. People who never knew me, or had any interaction with me, were suggesting I be hit over the head with a baseball bat. These people were ALSO writing on their websites about my company (no, not ME, my company) and boycotting it.

I stated in a discussion on one of these “followers” sites that yes, maybe what I said to this person in a private email and on a (what I thought was) private phone conversation was wrong in terms of an over-reaction, I still didn’t believe I deserved to be treated this way. I was then again told I was wrong for that too. (Incidentally, I’d previously spent (I think) around $30 for some of his software. The money wasn’t ever the issue for me, it was the way I was responded to that set me off.)

I made amends the best way I could while avoiding one-on-one interaction with this person by making a donation on their plugins site. It was a small donation, but neverless a “white flag” act on my part. I got nothing – no thank you, no “hatchet buried” response. Nothing. And that horrible post still remains up on his (and all his followers’) websites.

To this day, I still get hits from it. No business, of course, but hits. Which means people are still believing this man’s unkind words about me and my company. There are people out there believing (because they read the suggestion in his comments) that I should be hit over the head with a baseball bat. That my business should be boycotted.

Anyway, I’m rambling. My point is this: I think sometimes an act of kindness on another’s behalf highly exemplifies respectable behavior than does standing up for your “rights”. Especially if it’s not going to hurt YOU in the process.

Just my $.02 *shrug*

Lara

“For me it is principal, but moreso, I am getting hits on the posts from people looking up this person and the businesses he has run.”

And that benefits you how? Hits? Wouldn’t you rather focus on getting hits for what your site’s about, than for another business or because of what bashing may have gone on? I haven’t seen the post – but is their company in any way a competitor, so that people checking out the bashing would likely choose you over them?

I don’t know – I just see little benefit for anyone in making things difficult for someone else based on “principle” – especially when you can just let it go without it causing you any harm. For the record – I also see no benefit in biting back. I have yet to post anything directly pointing to the person who ignited all the flaming against me.

In all honesty, the people who know me have all read the post against me, and stated that if they’d ever ran across it (or even something like it about another company), they’d laugh at the fact that he had to post something like that to inflate his own ego with the comments he got.

My bottom line is this: Practice kindness. Especially when it really wouldn’t hurt you to do so.

Lara

That’s the problem – so many people view that behavior (taking a post down) as being hypocritical. I don’t see it that way at all – especially in a case like yours where the posts are over a year old, and no one’s commented on them in over a year.

The companies mentioned in the post no longer exist, correct? What if the people involved have improved their online business skills? You’re not giving them a chance in hell by keeping those posts up (which do have the names of the people (both he and his wife) and their old companies).

I’m not trying to get you mad at me Joe – just trying to share a different perspective. That’s all… I apologize if I’ve offended you or anyone else.