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Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers – Cow Government

Monday has always been a little bit of a let down, what with it being the beginning of the work week and all.

So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…

Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers…

 

Cow Government

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.

Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most “need.” Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the “free market.”

Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

Bureaucratic Democracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Bankers’ Capitalism: You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.

Surrealism: You have two polka-dotted giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Hope that put a smile on your face and brightened the start of the work week just a bit.


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  • Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers – How Government Works
  • Posted in Fun, Work at Home | Tagged | Leave a comment

    This Weeks Helpful Reads… Week 426

    Mark Twain

    Mark Twain

    This is an ongoing series of interesting and helpful reads that I have come across on the Internet. I try to include the most helpful articles and links each week to provide the widest range of information for the home business entrepreneur.

     Why Your Blog Isn’t Growing and How To Make It a Success by Gary Dek… Growing your blog’s traffic and revenue requires leveraging traffic and design strategies to build and retain visitors, eventually converting them into loyal readers and followers. Otherwise, you risk the chance of starting from zero after an algorithm update.

    I hope you find some of these articles informational and helpful. I think they will be enjoyable reading nonetheless.


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  • This Weeks Helpful Reads… Week 55
  • Posted in Weekly Helpful Reads | Leave a comment

    Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers – Druggist’s Bad Day

    Monday has always been a little bit of a let down, what with it being the beginning of the work week and all.

    So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…

    Monday Morning Musings for Work at Homers…

     

    Druggist’s Bad Day

    Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”

    Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute – listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.

    Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.

    I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.

    It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

    And Mister, I TOLD HER!” 

    Hope that put a smile on your face and brightened the start of the work week just a bit.


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  • Posted in Fun, Work at Home | Tagged | Leave a comment

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